Six Countries in Six Days

I spent my first 24 years in one country. The other week I passed through six countries in six days, one night in each. Ask me where I am now and I wouldn’t even be able to tell you. When I walk into a supermarket I have no idea what language the checkout chick will speak. I’m living in confusion. But it has been enlightening: the history lesson never ends, the vistas never fade and the food and drink always tastes good.

Cinque Terre coastline

We spent a bit of time soaking up sun on the Mediterranean coast. We even put on our movie-star sunglasses and strolled through Monte Carlo and Cannes. Both pretty pompous places really. The highlight, however, was not the glitz and glamour but five tiny Italian fishing villages. Cinque Terre national park – five towns built on cliffs beside the sea – is one Kodak moment after another. And when you get sick of taking photos there are plenty of opportunities to dive into the water.

One of the five towns at dusk

We were lucky enough to attend one of the many Belgian music festivals, Pukkelpop 2012: great line up and a great festival vibe. It was even kind of homely, I loved the fact that houses around the festival were converted into make shift bars and restaurants. One thing we noticed was that the mosh pits weren’t really mosh pits (well not in the Australian sense) and if you wanted you could waltz up to the front without having to knock people over or elbow them in the head.

When people go to music festivals they tend to pack their “coolest” t-shirts. It makes for entertaining people watching. Most of the time the punters really don’t live up to the slogans on their t-shirts, sometimes it’s a little ironic and even quite hilarious. My all-time favourite was at Falls Festival a few years back – a drunk old man clinging to the last of his thinning hair (the long, sparse strands all he had left of his misspent youth) wearing a t-shirt that read: rehab’s for quitters.

The Belgians didn’t disappoint. There were t-shirt slogans everywhere I looked. A kid wore fluro earplugs and a t-shirt that read: if the music’s too loud you’re too old. A bald fat guy wore a shirt that read: who needs hair with a body like this. A pale lady lathered in sunscreen wore a wide-brimmed hat and a shirt that read: I’m too cool for shade. I also saw a disturbing number of I Am Awesome slogans. Now if you really were awesome you wouldn’t need to wear a t-shirt proclaiming the fact, would you. So kids, next time you pack for a music festival select your t-shirts wisely!

One thing we have learnt over the last month is beware of tourist traps. When a hawker confronts you and says you’re too late and you won’t get into the museum unless you join their tour right now, don’t believe them for a second! Also, some towns and areas seem to have a bloated reputation. They say Bruges is the Venice of the north. Bollocks, more like the flea ridden swamp of the north. No seriously, it’s a nice place but probably not as nice as the hordes of tourists suggest. The problem, the canals are stagnant freshwater and they are full of mosquito larvae. You don’t hear about the mosquitoes in the tourist guides!

Hiking in the Alps

France: a country of contrasts, from the breathtaking heights of the Alps to the flat sprawling fields of Champagne. I can now say I am a Champagne connoisseur and I have jumped off a mountain.

Paragliding in Chamonix

I write this blog in Paris. I can hear a music festival in the distance, the Siene flows beside me. My gums bleed because crusty baguettes seem to be the only carbohydrates anyone eats. The coffee is black and the wine is red or sparkling. The museums are interminable mazes and every second building I’ve read about in a book or seen in a movie. Is it what I expected? Nope. Will I ever come back? You bet. There is a romance in all the history and all the buildings and parks. The past lingers in every alleyway. It is fame and fashion and art, beheaded royals and revolution, crazy world conquering emperors. Only the big fella upstairs knows how the story of Paris will end, but if what has happened so far is anything to go by, it’ll be a page-turning conclusion – romance, action and intrigue, a little bit of every genre thrown into one.