After a week or so in Germany I have come to the conclusion that the German language is the worst sounding language in the world. Firstly, apologies to all the lovely people I met in Germany and apologies to my high school German teachers. This isn’t personal. I have done extensive research and it’s not an opinion, it’s not subjective. The three points below are nothing but scientific proof:
- In the movie Downfall, Hitler’s infamous rant would not have been so devastating if it had been spoken in, say, French. There is no doubt the harshness of the language suited the tone of that intense monologue.
- Other than Rammstein have you ever heard anyone sing in German? No. Because it sounds angry and violent even if it’s the most sentimental love song since Love Me Tender. Attention all German speaking bachelors: don’t attempt to serenade the woman of your dreams in German, you’ll get a door slammed in your face no matter how heartfelt the lyric.
- I had the privilege of watching Germany vs Italy (soccer) in the centre of Berlin with 100 000 or so passionate German supporters. It was all fun and games… and then the chants began. I was deeply disturbed because the chants sounded a lot like a Rage Against the Machine song. And I wasn’t surprised at all when people started jumping around in a circle of death and punching each other in the face. The riot police had to be called in. It’s the language I tell you, it had nothing to do with the result of the match!
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| Soccer fans in Berlin |
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